Lost and Found Part Deux

What do you do when a beloved animal dies
(our sweet Miss Lass)
that has a special place in your heart?

If you haven't read part one, you might want to catch up with it before continuing.

It's been just over a month now since Lass died. We still have heavy hearts, the tears still well up pretty easily, but we all are moving along.

After I hastily sent an email to Lass' original owner, I received an unexpected thoughtful reply, within hours. Yes, he was the one that gave Lass over to rescue. He said he did it to try and save a 6 year relationship with his girlfriend who within a year of giving up Lass, he married, and not too long after that divorced. He said he thought of Lass often. He had two other Border Collies, in fact one was Lass' mate and the other was her puppy. LASS HAD A PUPPY ... sort of a huge aaaaawwwwww moment for us. He said he loved her dearly and it broke his heart to give her away. He wrote that he contacted BC rescue to make sure Lass was okay and that he would take her back, but they told him she was in a loving home. His note showed how much guilt he had for giving her up. He kept Lass' mate and her puppy until they both passed away as old dogs. His note brings tears to my eyes as I reread it now. He offered to talk to me about Lass and I took him up on it, but via email. I emailed him two times right after receiving his email. One email was about the struggles we had with Lass, and the other was about the joy she brought to us. I haven't heard from Lass' original owner since his only email. I can only suppose that I stirred up some emotions that he did not want to remember. I can respect that. I was so excited to hear from him and see that he was a caring person.

I guess there are several morals to this story. The first biggie is: Don't ever give up an animal that you love for another human being. I learned that in the demise of my first marriage, which involved my corgis, and my parents to an extent.

Giving up an animal, whether to rescue, or a friend or a family member is a difficult decision. When you are looking at what is THE BEST situation for that animal, trust yourself that you are doing the right thing. It is interesting that 3 people close in our lives have recently given up their dogs because of their living situations. The dogs were all loved, but all three of these people knew that the dogs could have even better homes, homes that could give them the time and attention that they needed. It was a difficult decision for all, and I respect them for making the hard choices.

When giving up an animal, do you tell the recipients about the problems you are having with the dog? I wonder... I don't know the answer to that question. I do think that Lass' optimum home would probably have been where she was the only dog and that someone was home most all of the time. If we had known that she might have had a history of "issues with other dogs" (and we still don't know her history) - we wouldn't have taken her.. but we didn't know.. I believe when you take a rescue, you have a good chance of getting a dog with "issues"... just be prepared to make the commitment to the animal and work as hard as you can. If I could say one thing about doing dog rescue, it would be make sure you have a lot of time to spend with the dog. Preferably that you don't work outside of the home. Dogs with issues need a lot of time, love and attention. But it was so worth it... We can't imagine never having had Lass. I am glad we were able to adjust our lives to hopefully better hers.

I am currently doing some volunteer work for a local rescue group. I am offering my computer skills and I am in heaven. I call it Geeking for Good.. but anyway - one of my tasks is to update/redesign the website. They have a quote on there that I love.. Saving one pet won't change the world, but surely the world will change for that one pet. When I am done with the redesign of the site - I will link to it from the blog.

Lost and Found - Part 1

What do you do when a beloved animal dies
(our sweet Miss Lass)
that has a special place in your heart?

Well if you are me, and your special loss was a rescue, you notify the rescue group from where you got her. Why? Well, maybe because I know that as a person who has fostered animals before, I always enjoy finding out the good (and the sad) of these animals. It helps to validate my feelings of hopefully helping the animal in some small way. With Miss. Lass, we had a lot of support from our rescue group during some difficult times. They were very appreciative of the email and offered such nice words of comfort for our efforts and our loss.

Sitting at my desk on Tuesday night, looking at Lass' ABCA pedigree papers, I took serious notice for the first time, the previous owner's name. Being the geek that I am, I decided to google the name. I got a hit, and not only did I get a direct hit, I got an email address with it. What to do? What were my feelings? My heart was racing. Do I send an email? What would they think? Would they welcome the information that she lived a long and happy life. Would it stir up emotions in them that they cared not to revisit? Were they a heartless, selfish person who threw away many other things in their life, like they "threw away" their dog..Who was this person? When we got Miss Lass from rescue, we only knew that she was given up because the girlfriend of the owner did not like the dog.. We looked at each other and said "NOT LIKE THIS DOG? How could that be, this sweet sweet animal?"

Miss Lass changed our lives. She challenged us to search the depths of our beings to understand what a committment to an animal meant. Thank goodness we (Steve and I) were both on the same page when it came to Miss Lass. If anything, Steve was even more adamant about her than I was. I will always think of that when I want some sort of gauge of his depth of love for this or any of our animals. Now don't get me wrong.. she didn't change our lives in such a way as to permanently hinder us in anything going forward. But for the last 7 years we have not been able to be away from home together more than 4-5 hours at a time. We always had to be aware of the weather too, lest we be away and a thunderstorm occurred. But we adapted and really didn't feel it was much of an imposition except when there were times we got the itch to travel again. It was hard for us to believe our last trip together was in 2001.

I sent the email. A short, somewhat curt email, that asked if this was the correct party that gave up Miss Lass to rescue in 1998. If this was the party to whom I was emailing, I said I didn't know if they would be interested in knowing that we had adopted the animal, loved her very much and had her for almost 10 years and that we had to put her down. I said there was no need for a response to the email.. I didn't want the recipient to feel obligated to engage in a dialogue. I probably put that last statement in as much for me as for the recipient because I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing. What did I hope to accomplish by sending this email? I didn't really think this through. I just knew I was hurting for a dog that I loved very much and I was home alone and spending a lot of time thinking about her and I really wished Steve was home to give me the hugs that I know we both could use.

The next morning, I received a reply...I was suprised and I think you will be too..but first I need to answer their reply before I continue this post.. that is why this is Part 1..

Sad Times

The Passing of a Beloved Companion

Miss Lass 12/21/93 – 08/01/08

Our Miss Lass came to us in late 1998 by way of Appalachian Mountain Border Collie Rescue. Everyone thought she was about 2 years old when we adopted her, but to our surprise, when we obtained her ABCA registration, she was 5 years old. She was a sweet animal from the beginning, but definitely had some idiosyncrasies. She did not know what toys or treats were and had no desire for the Frisbee or thrown tennis balls. We tried her in agility and she was not enthused. She did not seem interested in herding. She grew to love treats, but never developed an interest in any of the "normal" dog activities. She was smart and did well with obedience training. She tolerated the cats, and preferred to spend her time jumping at the grass and barking. We came to refer to this activity as herding bugs. She loved to be sprayed with the hose.

I mentioned that she was sweet. She was a gentle dog with soft eyes and would let you do just about anything to her up until she was around 12 or so, and like most of us, she started to get a bit cranky as she got older. She used to love to have her back scratched and would gladly sit for you as you rubbed or brushed her back. She also loved her rides. Every errand that we ran, weather and time permitting, she was along for the ride.
She was very much loved by us and she will forever remain in our hearts.
Lass, we hope that we have helped you to go gently into that dark night and that there are no more thunderstorms and only beautiful warm sunny days with cool breezes.
We love you very much.

Our Old Dog(s)

We're going through some difficult times with our dogs these past few years. They have aged and are passing on leaving us with fond memories and holes in our hearts. When the animals come into our home, it's never with the thought that they will exit in somewhat the same succession as they came in, but they do. First it was Tucker, the best dog in the world, who left us at age 16, close to 4 years ago, then Bogey, who at 16 departed (after hanging on to three and 1/2 legs for 3 years).. gosh it's been 15 months now. The remaining dogs, Lass, the camera shy BC is 15 or 16 - I can never remember exactly unless I look at her papers, and Mattie - who is now 11. Lass pretty much spends all day sleeping now. She's an "under" dog - prefers to sleep under things if she can. The sign of a true old dog is sleeping all the time. She still loves her dinner and her treats of which we now freely give her. When we first came to Florida, for the winter,4 years ago, she would easily walk a couple of miles every Sunday with us to get the Sunday paper. Now she barely walks the shortened walks we call poop and pee.. The winters down here have been a godsend for her. We are convinced it has prolonged her life along with arthritis drugs. The vets all gush what great shape she is in for an old dog, but we see a marked deterioration this season. Lass, Kiki and Squeek are getting ready for the journey back up to the cabin on Saturday. Cap'n Steve left this past Saturday with Mattie and Mo. It's getting tougher for her to ride in the car the 9+ hour trip. I hate this part.The deterioration. I love these animals so much. I can take comfort that we provide a loving home for them and can afford luxuries like top notch vet care and winter homes, but the human I am, I want the things I can't give them, unlimited time with good health.